I will go I will do and other adventures from the McKee Missionaries: Spencer's Take 2, Semana 70

Monday, September 7, 2015

This week was awesome! Well, to begin, I would like to share a sad, sad story.... I, Elder Spencer James McKee have gone 22 months in my mission without being bitten by even one dog! But, sadly, everything comes to an end! I have bragged to soooooo many missionaries that I have never been bitten. I have not had one companion that hasn’t been bit before. It’s super normal here due to the extreme amount of feral street dogs that patrol the streets.

Last Monday, we were walking to play soccer and we took the same route that we take every single day. We did not do anything out of the norm to whatsoever provoke these dogs. We were walking on the side walk in front of their house and once we got within 3 feet of them they went berserk and just darted at me like some coiled up jungle vipers! Luckily my fight or flight switch is always set on the fight setting so I was prepared! The first dog that lanced itself to get a taste of my beefy legs was surprised by a big fat falcon kick to the face! I was so jacked up on adrenaline because I had been drinking green tea all day that I didn’t really assess the damage that I had done in that instant to that poor dog but according to Elder Christensen, who somehow teleported a half block away in the heat of the moment, he said that the dog got at least 3 feet of air! My kicks are powerful but I guess I need to work on the recoil. As I was waiting for the recoil of my leg after destroying the first dog, the second and much larger dog took his best shot! I thought my leg was going to meet his face before his face met my leg but he barely beat me! The hood rat barely nicked me! But you bet your bottom dollar that I gave him his!

They both retreated after getting a taste of the ol` boot which left me to assess the situation. I peered down to evaluate the damage the big dog had caused me. It was minor but there was blood. I immediately began to follow protocol and clapped my hands to summon the owners out of their home. Luckily, in my case the owners were really nice people. Usually if you get bit, the owners will tell you, basically to get lost and to not come close to the dog again. These owners were super nice and friendly and offered to take me to the hospital and all that good stuff. All I asked for was some alcohol, gauze and a ride to the soccer field!!!! They happily obliged. As they were cleaning my battle wound the dogs somehow escaped again and darted out of the door!

I thought I was about to have round 2 with those two hooligans but for some strange reason they blew passed me and went straight for Elder Christensen! He ran at half speed not thinking they were really going to chase him but once he realized they were with blood in their eyes he started to run for his life! I have never seen someone run soooo fast! It was such a speed that it seemed to be in slow motion! Every morning he works out with these bands that he hooks up to his legs and they help him with his leg strength and he specifically does it because he wants to be able to dunk. That day those resistance bands may have saved his life! He jumped sooooo high and within a split second he was on top of a wall! From my point of view it looked like the bigger dog might have nibbled his leg a little bit but it didn’t. It definitely did bump his leg as he jumped and caused his leg to smack against a small little pre wall that was there. It left him a nice little dent in his leg!

Once I realized that my companion had just avoided certain death I went into attack mode! I booked it after the two dogs with vengeance flowing in my veins! I just about took the bigger dogs head off but luckily he dodged my kick. Then I took after the smaller of the two and he made it inside the house. I may not have gotten any more hits in on the two but the owner of the dogs followed them inside and all you could hear were some cries from some beaten dogs! They took us to soccer and we are safe to say that all is well today. The only thing that Sister Chaparro said to do was to go back in 10 days to see if the dog is alive or not. If not, I need medical treatment asap she says. We seriously die laughing when we think of that massacre!

On another note, we had a good week! We finally have met the entire Rodriguez family. They are so awesome. They have yet to make it to church which just blows my mind because they live just across the street but I'm sure they have their reasons! We are working with some other really cool people. Another guy we are working with is named Juan Pedro. He is so funny because every time we go to teach him we find him sitting on a ledge in front of his house and he always acts like he has no idea what we are doing there. We have to remind him every time that we want to teach him about God and help him follow Christ by being baptized. In the beginning of every lesson he is so weird like that but by the end he just loves us! Yesterday we taught him and when we invited him to pray about Joseph Smith he came out saying that he already believes in him and has for 30 years! Apparently he came to know the church in Cordoba a while back. He said goodbye to us with an awkward shoulder grab to me and a big fat toothless kiss dead smack on the cheek of Elder Christensen! It’s so funny because due to his toothlessness he is super hard to understand. Elder Christensen hardly understands anything he says.

Well, life is good. I love you guys! Thanks for the prayers, they are always appreciated! I hope you have a splendid week!

con muchos besitos,

Elder Spencer McKee